“Life is first boredom, then fear” writes Phillip Larkin. A witty, if glib line, which is nonetheless painfully resonant. For me, the fear began in earnest when I was around 18. Having left school and begun studying law, more from apathy than genuine interest, I felt the twinge of a now familiar sense of longing. Longing for purpose, for understanding, for meaning.
I know the convention is for bios to be written in third person to give the impression of objectivity, but I don’t think that’s my style. My music comes directly from me to you and so should my words. As I write this I’m deep in the process of producing my sophomore EP, titled ‘we just are’ – a reference to the philosophy of optimistic nihilism. I struggled for many years with a severe sense of listlessness and general lack of purpose, I still do in fact. It’s something I now recognise in many of the people around me, both young and old. It’s damn fascinating to write about.
When one considers the fact that human senses are only able to interpret a tiny fraction of the world around us, the notion of ‘reality’ becomes extremely fluid. So, in some ways I view what most of us see as conventional reality to be nothing more than shadows on the wall of Plato’s cave. I love the way that music can shape that reality. The best artists create worlds with their music, and I’m trying to build one of my own. I want us to share it, I may need us to. It should feel the like driving along the coast at sunset, like staring at a night sky somewhere far away. I know that sounds pretentious, but I think the fact I don’t care is indicative of some personal growth – I feel sincerity is an undervalued currency now.
My writing process is simultaneously very slow and very fast. I often suffer from weeks and months of creative frustration, making incremental improvements to my writing and production but producing nothing satisfying. Finally there will come a moment when the gears click together and a song is written and produced over the course of a day with a manic intensity. I often say it can take months to write a song overnight.
It seems that now something has changed… my second EP has tumbled out of me with near total clarity, and I couldn’t be more excited.
I love you for listening, take care and I’ll see you soon.